Letter | 2017 | 02

whaduhfug… | 06.10.17 | <3, skim

Dear. 2017,

Hey, how are you doing? I just wanted to check in and see what’s been happening with you. I’m sure many of your predecessors have given you plenty of scoop on what shenanigans humans can get into in a year, but I can see how things may be a bit more on the… erm, extreme side for you.

The drawing I made? That’s the face of my heart upon hearing the news on a daily basis. So as a human, I wanted to let you know that what you’re witnessing is more unusual than even what many humans are used to.

Anywho, I know that you’re beyond human shenanigans and you won’t quit on us, but the possibility that we may quit on you is real and looming… It has nothing to do with you and other than a few, humans don’t want to quit on you either. But I’m not sure why we keep making poor choices when it comes to choosing the right person for the job. I thought it was mostly women with a-low-to-no self-esteem who did that, but apparently not.

My brain keeps muttering donaldDevo in a synth voice whenever my heart starts to roll her eyes – a precursor to whatever emotion I don’t need to experience. That cheers me up a bit. donaldDevo mmch mmch mmch mmch donaldDevo… Now, don’t you feel better too?

In case I don’t get to write you again lest we quit on you, I’m sorry, 2017. During your time, humans have managed to turn reality into a twisted psychological thriller with a mystery ending that no one can or wants to predict. Although I hear phrases like “this can’t go on” on a daily basis, we will, like a couple in a toxic marriage that just refuses to divorce making everyone around them feel awkward at parties and sorry for their children’s suffering.

On a more happier note, three of my Bantams: Boo, PomPom, and Pasha have hatched little chicks and they’re all thriving! Which reminds me, I gotta go make them a tethercabbageball now. More on that later (if possible).


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